my love for you shall live forever; you however, did not.

So, when i was younger I'd ALWAYS hear older people saying they wish they could go back to being young and having no cares in the world. and when i was younger EVERYone my age would be like, "I can't wait to be older. i can't wait to have a boyfriend and drive a car and be in highschool." So I put 2 and 2 together when i was very young and thought... i don't want to be older right away, i realized i had next to no responsabilities in this world and i lived it up! i appreciated the fact that i didn't have much to worrie about and as much as i looked FORWARD to being older... i took advantage of my young elementry school days. And before my parents got devorced... i KNEW i was lucky to have parents that were still toghether. I let people know how lucky i was, and bragged about how great it is that they're still married. i APPRECIATED the life i had. but almost as SOON as i realized all this and began to appreciate the simple life i had back then.... it was taken from me... i HAD to grow up, cuz real life was thrown upon me.

now don't get me wrong, i wasn't nieve. i took care of the shit i had to take care of. anytime i had something that became MY responsability, then i'd man up and doit. but i relized that i didn't have massive amounts on my plate cuz i was young. so as i've gotten older... i've never thought... oh man, i wish i could go back to being a kid... with not a care in the world... almost NEVER, cuz even though i appreciated the simple life i had back then... I had to grow up too fast.

so going back to being a kid... wouldn't be that great. cuz i'd still take responsability for everything i could. I don't think i've ever been what they call a "free spirit."

and it seems like the more i learn, the more questions i have. and the more i realize that i really don't know anything.

all i know is that i know nothing at all.

so you see... you don't have to "go back" anywhere.... all of life is BELIEVING something... and KNOWING nothing...

even what you THINK you know... could be questioned. what is "fact" but a bunch of repeated "answers." arent there exceptions to every rule? i won't go further into this. other people have done it before me... who are much more " educated" and "experienced" then i am.

~Nikka~