I just want to be there so bad.
I can't fucking stay here any longer.
GET ME THE FUCK OUT!!!!!
the only things worth staying for are leaving/not interested.
I'm ready to start a new adventure....
I read a bulletin from Gina saying she was about to spend her 5th New Years at the Boardwalk.
5TH!!!
that's fucking pathetic!
I don't want to be that.
stuck.
stagnate.
FUCK THAT SHIT.
loosin hope here.
~Nikka~
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
i'm a complete hypocrite
wow....
in a previous blogg titled "This should have come with a warning", i wrote an "anonymos" statement saying "you're becoming exactly what we've all talked about hating..."
and i've been kinda evaluating myself lately and i realized ... I'M becoming exacly what i've always talked about hating.
the extent of my drama in life right now is my hair and my nails.
hahaha. i don't do anything that matters, i don't do anything to challenge myself or make myself a better person. I've got all the time in the world, and i waste every second i can.
yeah, i'm leavin for LA soon... but i should be taking advantage of all this free time to do some great things before i go. When i move i'm going to have zero time between working and going to school and doing homework. plus this'll be my first time living away from home. wow.... I really REALLY need to take advantage of this last month here.
on that note... it's time to go to my waste-of-my-time job.
woop woop.
maybe while i'm wasting time there i can think of something usefull to do when i'm off.
in a previous blogg titled "This should have come with a warning", i wrote an "anonymos" statement saying "you're becoming exactly what we've all talked about hating..."
and i've been kinda evaluating myself lately and i realized ... I'M becoming exacly what i've always talked about hating.
the extent of my drama in life right now is my hair and my nails.
hahaha. i don't do anything that matters, i don't do anything to challenge myself or make myself a better person. I've got all the time in the world, and i waste every second i can.
yeah, i'm leavin for LA soon... but i should be taking advantage of all this free time to do some great things before i go. When i move i'm going to have zero time between working and going to school and doing homework. plus this'll be my first time living away from home. wow.... I really REALLY need to take advantage of this last month here.
on that note... it's time to go to my waste-of-my-time job.
woop woop.
maybe while i'm wasting time there i can think of something usefull to do when i'm off.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
the most selfish act in the world...
is to be a game geek.
seriously though. think about it.
they are so selfish to not conform to ANY of societies "standards"
to sit there at lunch and play magic card games, and wear nerdy shirts, and discuss their latest anime....
most of them look like they don't wash themselves properly (acne and greasy hair)
and for the most part they wear clothes that aren't in anyway pleasing to the eye.
unless you're another nerd.
so anyway, i think it's selfish. they please no one but themselves acting this way.
so whatever. i don't feel bad for any of them being picked on anymore... cuz they're selfish little pricks.
hahaha. where do i come up with this shit?
seriously though. think about it.
they are so selfish to not conform to ANY of societies "standards"
to sit there at lunch and play magic card games, and wear nerdy shirts, and discuss their latest anime....
most of them look like they don't wash themselves properly (acne and greasy hair)
and for the most part they wear clothes that aren't in anyway pleasing to the eye.
unless you're another nerd.
so anyway, i think it's selfish. they please no one but themselves acting this way.
so whatever. i don't feel bad for any of them being picked on anymore... cuz they're selfish little pricks.
hahaha. where do i come up with this shit?
Friday, December 7, 2007
really though...
this is getting hard.
going to the friend zone is always so fucking bittersweet.
no. i don't want to be just friends.
i want something more.
i'm not asking for a permanent relationship.
i mean hell, i'm movin to LA.
but one of these times... it's gotta work a little differently. it's gotta play out in a way that's quite the opposite of how it usually does.
i know i'm lucky to have your friendship.
and i am happy that i'll get to keep you close...
but,
man, i wish it would have been different this time.
you're gunna be a harder one to get over.
going to the friend zone is always so fucking bittersweet.
no. i don't want to be just friends.
i want something more.
i'm not asking for a permanent relationship.
i mean hell, i'm movin to LA.
but one of these times... it's gotta work a little differently. it's gotta play out in a way that's quite the opposite of how it usually does.
i know i'm lucky to have your friendship.
and i am happy that i'll get to keep you close...
but,
man, i wish it would have been different this time.
you're gunna be a harder one to get over.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
this should have come with a warning
Ten Anonymous Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People:
1. Read my blogs, my journals, and my thoughts, you'll still never know how much you hurt me. but i still love you.
2. I hate you. (hopefully i won't by the time you're old enough to understand what i mean by that.)
3. I honestly thought at one point we were going to realize we loved eachother enough to get married. i'm glad i realized that our love is platonic.
4. stop it. i know you're trying to push me away. aint gunna work. and i hope you'll say the same thing when you realize i'm trying to push you away too.
5. there's this song... by kelly clarkson... hahaha. (i shouldn't admit to this). but everything in the song is what i want to say to you. (and, no it's not "since you've been gone!")
6. you're becoming exactly the person we've all talked about hating... i care about you... but i really don't like you.
7. you're wierd. like.... REALLY wierd.
8. sometimes i LOVE the influence you've had on my life. i hope we contineu to grow closer and someday i can be as good a friend to you as you've been to me. please don't let me push you away.
9. you're sketchy.
10. if you would have asked one more time.... i would have stayed.
Nine Things About Yourself:
1. i hate my hair this colour
2. i love God
3. i want to be outside more
4. i don't get along with "girly-girls"
5. i'm more into music than is probly healthy for one person
6. I'm the happy-go-lucky bitch
7. family comes first.
8. im still a virgin
9. I'm so ecclectic sometimes i feel hypocritical when it comes to things i like.
Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. be spontanious
2. don't give up on me, i'm not gunna trust you right away.
3. be kinda a jerk... but care about things that matter.
4. love God.
5. try new things and get me to try new things too.
6. talk to me about anything and everything (aspecially things you can't talk to other people about)
7. dont smother, aspecially in public.
8. show me what you're proud of (and be proud of yourself), and be proud of what i show you.
Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A lot:
1. friends
2. moving to LA
3. Boys
4. family
5.moving to LA
6. boys
7. friends
Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
i wish i could say nothing...and i KNOW everything happens for a reason.and i KNOW i should just learn from my mistakes and move on...but there's just ONE thing that's too hard for me to forgive myself for... and only because i lost a really cool friend because of it. i wish i could take that night back. i wish i wouldn't have left with you.... no, i did enjoy going to that house and meeting those people... but i wish we never kissed.
Five Turn Offs:
1. arrogance
2. boogers
3. expecting respect with out giving it
4. easily offended
5. lazyness
Four Turn Ons:
1. big noses.
2. Good family values
3. Great personality(humer fits in this one i think... and i can't rule that out)
4. punks/rockabilly's/tattoo's/piercings (i don't care if you think that's cheating)
Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
:X
:D
:S
(i honestly don't even know what any of those mean... i kinda just picked the goofiest one's possible... they def. DON'T describe my life)
Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. sky dive
2. tell my grandkids a story about "back in my day"
One Confession:
1. i wish i could force my religion on every one i know. not because i'm right, and you're wrong. not because i think you're a bad person and you should change your ways... no, i'd rather you stayed just the same (that's why i love you)... but because when i'm rejoicing in heaven... i want everyone i care about to be standing right there with me. so i know everyone i care about is happy.
1. Read my blogs, my journals, and my thoughts, you'll still never know how much you hurt me. but i still love you.
2. I hate you. (hopefully i won't by the time you're old enough to understand what i mean by that.)
3. I honestly thought at one point we were going to realize we loved eachother enough to get married. i'm glad i realized that our love is platonic.
4. stop it. i know you're trying to push me away. aint gunna work. and i hope you'll say the same thing when you realize i'm trying to push you away too.
5. there's this song... by kelly clarkson... hahaha. (i shouldn't admit to this). but everything in the song is what i want to say to you. (and, no it's not "since you've been gone!")
6. you're becoming exactly the person we've all talked about hating... i care about you... but i really don't like you.
7. you're wierd. like.... REALLY wierd.
8. sometimes i LOVE the influence you've had on my life. i hope we contineu to grow closer and someday i can be as good a friend to you as you've been to me. please don't let me push you away.
9. you're sketchy.
10. if you would have asked one more time.... i would have stayed.
Nine Things About Yourself:
1. i hate my hair this colour
2. i love God
3. i want to be outside more
4. i don't get along with "girly-girls"
5. i'm more into music than is probly healthy for one person
6. I'm the happy-go-lucky bitch
7. family comes first.
8. im still a virgin
9. I'm so ecclectic sometimes i feel hypocritical when it comes to things i like.
Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. be spontanious
2. don't give up on me, i'm not gunna trust you right away.
3. be kinda a jerk... but care about things that matter.
4. love God.
5. try new things and get me to try new things too.
6. talk to me about anything and everything (aspecially things you can't talk to other people about)
7. dont smother, aspecially in public.
8. show me what you're proud of (and be proud of yourself), and be proud of what i show you.
Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A lot:
1. friends
2. moving to LA
3. Boys
4. family
5.moving to LA
6. boys
7. friends
Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
i wish i could say nothing...and i KNOW everything happens for a reason.and i KNOW i should just learn from my mistakes and move on...but there's just ONE thing that's too hard for me to forgive myself for... and only because i lost a really cool friend because of it. i wish i could take that night back. i wish i wouldn't have left with you.... no, i did enjoy going to that house and meeting those people... but i wish we never kissed.
Five Turn Offs:
1. arrogance
2. boogers
3. expecting respect with out giving it
4. easily offended
5. lazyness
Four Turn Ons:
1. big noses.
2. Good family values
3. Great personality(humer fits in this one i think... and i can't rule that out)
4. punks/rockabilly's/tattoo's/piercings (i don't care if you think that's cheating)
Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
:X
:D
:S
(i honestly don't even know what any of those mean... i kinda just picked the goofiest one's possible... they def. DON'T describe my life)
Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. sky dive
2. tell my grandkids a story about "back in my day"
One Confession:
1. i wish i could force my religion on every one i know. not because i'm right, and you're wrong. not because i think you're a bad person and you should change your ways... no, i'd rather you stayed just the same (that's why i love you)... but because when i'm rejoicing in heaven... i want everyone i care about to be standing right there with me. so i know everyone i care about is happy.
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