and there's nothing you can do about it

life is treating me strangely. i keep wanting to work harder, do more, and pretty much work myself to the bone. i demand too much out of myself and therefore am disappointed when life doesn't hand me the opportunity to do so.
but i love it all. life has been a crazy experience and i'm excited to see where i go this next year.
I've been learning a lot living in NY and i'm becoming more and more independent i love it.
i've also recently rediscovered that i enjoy being myself.

:)

I'm feeling sick to my stomache

people never stop shocking me with how egotistical they can be.

you're giving bad advice right now.

all you're doing is being a jerk.

and because you're talking to someone easily intimidated by your degrading talk... they're stupid enough to listen.


I'm offended at your lies and your all-knowing/intellectual facade.

open your eyes. you're at the bottom of the ladder.
learn some humility, that might help your life turn around a bit.
you learn more from listening then you do from talking.








on the verge of puking here.
that's how you make me feel.
yuck. you are awful.

and the hypocracy continues.

ok... so there are many other things that have been on my mind that i wanted to blog about...

but in this moment there is one thing i want to get off my chest...

i don't care about expensive toys, i don't care about fame, i don't care about excessive amounts of money!
lets talk about life.
lets talk about aspirations... REAL aspirations...
unless if superficial things is all you people care about.

does everyone on this planet just want fame and fortune?
(... and does everyone think that that's all i care about?
it seems like that's the only thing i hear about these days...
i must be talking about it too much.
i must seem like i care about that shit a lot.)


yeah, you got wasted, yeah, you had sex, yeah you're a crazy partier.
now what else is going on in your life?
what do you believe in?
what do you fear?
what do you love?
what inspires you to wake up in the morning?
what art do you do?

i know i was only in town for a month, and didn't get to see a lot of you for very long...
but i feel like the only things i learned about each and every one of you is that you all still hate the 916
and you're all still there...
but you never told me WHY you hated it
or what you were doing to get OUT of there
all you told me is what you do in the meantime to deal with it... until your "big break" comes along.

i've got news... life is what you make it.
you don't like it get the fuck out.
you don't REALLY want to leave... CHANGE it.
damn.

ps... there were a few exceptions to this rant... and you know who you are. thanks for the good times. :)